Project Sunrise: Day 30

Hi there,

I feel fine today, I guess.
I'd like to close this project with progress update. So many reds 😅

Thank you for reading this 30 days blabbering content. I miss talking to my SO but this time I think it is best to spend some time alone. We will survive, I believe.

Project Sunrise: Day 29

Hi,

Today I feel calm it is weird. I read Silmi's blog first thing in the morning. It is the best thing I had this month, I think. She is a remarkable writer.

I guess I need to be strong too.

Project Sunrise: Day 28

Hi,

I don't feel good today. My head is a wild space and the mind is eager to explore everything. I promise myself not to talk with anyone. Can't take promises lightly as it will make me feel worse.

Project Sunrise: Day 27

Heyyy,

I am too immersed in my financial planning I end up forget to come here hahahaha sorry.
Retirement fund balance from current company (along with final settlement) has been shared -> new information means plan adjustment. I need to make a new plan and start juggling. Will start reallocating once semua cair. (what?)

This hasn't considered halal-haram ya haha. Abisan mau buka deposito di bank syariah mesti ke bank kan repot.

Talking with Kak Tifa about housing in BSD, about why she prefer live in BSD compared to Bekasi and Cibubur, (and of course Jakarta is not an option considering the price). I'd like to live in BSD but most likely cannot afford to buy a house there as a single-income household haha. Owning vs renting is a topic that is still an abstract for me. Pros and cons?

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, Zuh!

I'd like to repeat the message you gave me as it is beautifully crafted and true.

Every time you reach that crossroad where you could choose to do a different thing, you will notice that there is a fear there, telling you to take the same route you're used to. Give yourself a little time. Ask him questions, then listen.

I like you as simple and human as you are.

Project Sunrise: Day 26

Heyho,

80 reps of Straight Leg Bicycle is really something.
All my core muscles hurt hahahahahahahah. I can't wait to see the effect of this core training to my 10 km personal best. Soon.

Project Sunrise: Day 25

Hey,

It is official that I am now unemployed ✊✊✊
I don't feel like I lose my identity or part of myself, which is surprising since this was what scared me back in Dec last year when making this decision. But maybe it's because it's only been a day 😂😂😂

HBR When Losing Your Job Feels Like Losing Your Self

I feel more anxious towards how I can support myself financially but also have some money in investment. I usually have 6 months coverage emergency fund while the rest goes to investment. But now that I don't have regular paycheck, I decide to have 12 months cash cushion instead. Means, I let myself enjoy this happy time for 6 months so by end of Oct I should (I really should) have a new job and 6 months emergency fund.

But... The other factor that can make this 12 months emergency fund too little is if the economy doesn't recover next year. Will make adjustment to the plan based on latest update in the news.*

*this very much like working in weekly forecast 😂

Project Sunrise: Day 24

Hi,

I start to consider mba Ditta's comment on how hard it is looking for the "right" job when you are leaving a considered big public company.

She said that when you are staying in certain position (no role-rotation) for too long and not taking the opportunity to make the effort to stay relevant with current job market, you will end up being a candidate that is: not qualified yet to step up to the next management level but too expensive to take the same position as in previous company.

Anyway, it is just a thought.

I am missing Becca and we've been sending cute dog photos from the internet these past two days. I guess friendship in this age of 25-ish is about sending memes and cute cat/dog regularly.

Done rereading Death Note + its One Shot 2020, now moving into rereading Fullmetal Alchemist. I should've brought a book from kosan hhhhh. What should I add to my everyday variations of reading comics, attending class, and working out? Should I try gardening?

Project Sunrise: Day 23

Hi!

I gotta admit that I started today's yoga exercise with high confidence because my body is very flexible. But... this is something. I have difficulties doing transition between pose. It requires not only flexibility but smooth flow, like dancing (?). It is fun to experience new things and challenging my body's strength and endurance (also I miss long distance running so got to seek for another adventure). Here's the link in case you would like to try it too NTC Lengthen & Flow Yoga.

Project Sunrise: Day 22

Hellooo,

I didn't buy the Avoskin toner, please celebrate this with me 👯👯

Yesterday I am crafting some personal messages for many important people (for me) at the office. I will finish it today. I really enjoy this activity because it makes me feel human: I feel both sad leaving them and feel good about myself moving on from something I am not comfortable with.

I learn a lot in this short period of time. Kaya aksel kali ya haha.
I learn to accept myself. Actually, even when it is only the second time I was there, I have learned a thing about me that nobody has ever mentioned. I cried during the interview (mbrebes mili bahasa inggrisnya apa hayo).

It is a mixed feeling, it is hard to let go of something valuable, but like mba Riri once said:

Put yourself first in everything you do when it comes to happiness

permisi, da pa neh rame amat kemaren

Project Sunrise: Day 21

Hi!

Today's menu is toning, I guess by the time this social distancing end, I'll have Kim Kardashian's butt 😂😂😂😂 just kidding. She has strong willpower (and other powers as well) while I don't. Anyway, I am thankful that my past-self impulsively deciding to buy a yoga mat (and grateful for the sponsor too). It turns out that most of the routine for this plan Lean Fit are done on the mat, especially the leg part. Aaand, Thursday menu is yoga, haha coincidence?

Talk about toning, I tried Avoskin Miraculous Refining Toner for the first time last night. Of course not mine haha, it is my sister's, I am part of the market for more-affordable skin care product. But Sociolla giving 21% discount makes me considering to buy this toner. It is payday today. The most awaited yet tricky day.

Project Sunrise: Day 20

Hello,

Wow this is the 20th day. Didn't expect that I've come this far. This routine actually helps a lot to condition my mind and body, tells them that a new day has come, let's achieve something today.

I am into Billie Eilish's when the party's over recently. You should listen to this duet by Joanna Serenko and Roderick Chambers. Anyway, I always feel better in the morning compared to when the sun has set. Is there any correlation between mood and sunrays? I think I should try to go to bed at 9 pm and get up early. Oh that reminds me, it's been 20 days since the last morning call. I don't wanna dwell into this bad feeling but, like Billie Eilish said in her song, i could lie, say i like it like this.

Project Sunrise: Day 19

Hari ini telat, keburu tengah hari haha. Masa namanya sunrise tapi publish jam 1 siang. Gatau pula mau cerita apa. Life is good. Calm and nothing much. Oh! Saya tahu. Mau rekomendasi channel youtube aja deh, dulu zaman baru pindah jakarta dan terkaget-kaget sama pengeluaran, channel ini cukup membantu. Meski ga semuanya bisa relate sih karena beda gaya hidup dan lokasi.

Project Sunrise: Day 18

Hi,

Woke up feeling sore throughout whole body. Yesterday's workout focused on strength training while this body of mine has no muscles strength. This pain is very well expected haha. Today is recovery day so no workout plan. A bit impulsive early in the morning trying 30 days free trial LinkedIn Premium while still in bed. And then went back to sleep. Leaving bed at 8.30 and now here I am blogging then continue to read Death Note. This is the life of people doing social distancing ✊

Project Sunrise: Day 17

Hi,

I am starting to think that I should rewatch Friends. Somehow Blake Shelton's joke at The Voice resemble Chandler's. 💁Well, I love them both.

Project Sunrise: Day 16

Heyy,

Sometime this week, I started to read Death Note after working hours. It made me feel the excitement, blood rushing thing, when reading such a page-turning work of art. I obviously need to get back into reading. Oh! My package from UK is on its way, yay. It is Liz Climo's latest book, You're Mom. Grant Snider also launched a new book recently. I will certainly buy it once my new budgeting scheme is proven to be working. Haha.

 

Earlier this morning, the day starts with huge amount of worry--building up since almost 3 weeks ago-- that finally turns into sparks of relief. It's not because there is good news, but more of a confirmation statement that is more believable. So to sum up the story: though I am in a familiar situation with pretty much expected outcome, I feel uneasy. So I go to the source of this feeling of worry, then ask confirmation whether there is something going on. And finally, I feel relieved when that somebody confirmed that me feeling worried is valid. I didn't realize that I need consolation that much (I know I crave for affection but didn't know that consolation, comfort, and trust are the form of affection that I need right now).

Even my current learning indicate to do fact check before moving to decision making 😂😂

Maybe it is just me being human that demand affirmation? I know Jessica says a lot about self-affirmation but it is very hard to do if you have insecurities, you know that. I am crying while writing the previous part, but not because I am sad. It's just weird to feel love and comfort to the point of you feel content about what you have in the present and makes your fear of the future become ridiculous.

I like him even when he is angry or bothered, love is so weird.
Now I feel at ease.

Project Sunrise: Day 15

Last night I dreamt of going to the beach for ikan bakar craving.

I am feeling good today.

Project Sunrise: Day 14

When you have been in demand planning role for almost 4 years and yet could not pass the assessment 😰😰

Project Sunrise: Day 13

Hi!

With current situation of Corona virus, it is not advisable to go (running) outside. Since I don't have treadmill at home but surely need to stay sane, I am looking for another way to exercise. These past 4 weeks I have been focusing on bodyweight training using Nike Training Club. I have completed one training plan (9 workouts in 4 weeks) and would like to level up. Maybe updating from 2-3 workout a week to 3-4? Anyway, hurt myself last week when doing plank saws, both elbows bruised for days and it hurts even when doing the "normal" plank. So I bought a yoga mat to support the training plan hahahahahah. Yes, this is an excuse for spending money on things I don't really need. 😀😀😀😀

Stay safe people!

Project Sunrise: Day 12

Hello,

I feel sad today. I cried in the toilet. I need my personal space. I miss my kosan room.

Project Sunrise: Day 11

Hi,

Last night I finally got to hear his voice again through one hour phone call. I have just realized that the term is significant others because even the smallest act they do play significant role to what you feel the whole day. Or maybe it is just me being extra 😅 I am so glad he is okay.

Another news. My youngest sister moving upstairs so I am officially a guest with no bedroom. Packing some things into boxes and found a letter from a dear friend, post cards, other mementos that all makes me feel loved. I am grateful for my past.

That's all.

*Pas cari foto, nemu screenshot Hangout isinya ditegur karena ga setor nomor body taksi pas pulang dari stasiun Gambir dini hari dan milih taksi bukan biru hanya karena ga enak hati udah kontak mata dengan supirnya (silly me). Bahkan lagi sibuk diklat di Semarang pun perhatian lho, how can I not love you

Project Sunrise: Day 10

Better start re-learning than wasting time overthinking.

But reading comics is FAR MORE INTERESTING. I have caught up with latest release of Detective Conan and now halfway on re-reading Kindaichi Case Files 😅 I left my learning hanging, only have done 1/7 assessment. Will continue once I have my spirit up hahahaha.

Project Sunrise: Day 9

Back to square one and I don't know what to expect.

Btw, ini foto terakhir di luar rumah: 11 Mar 2020 sebab 12 Mar sudah WFH. Aku kangen.

CES 2020

Consumer Electronics Show 2020

Key takeaways from Unilever's News Center

• Technology as new form of storytelling
• The rise of ad-supported streaming, more content provided in innovative ways
• Privacy policies can be a huge differentiator for consumers
• New form of mobility means future of logistic/delivery
• Tech that enhance consumers' lives should be honest about intentions and utility of the brand
• AI affect the entire lifecycle of a product/service from product development to relationships with customers
• The shape and placement of screens to vary so much: technology/product in general need to intersect with consumers, not interrupt them. Make people's lives more seamless. In case you are interested in Samsung 85" 8K TV with no bezel

 

source: Samsung

• 5G network will be available in the US by December:
• richer digital experiences, more engaging
• real-time analytics
• Digital beauty means more personalized personal care
• consumer able to get the product they want, when they want, how they want it, all in a form that is designed and delivered uniquely for them
• interaction with customer through digital engagement (mobile devices, mobile applications) to collect user data and preferences and give recommendations
• consumer opt for more natural, organic, environmentaly sustainable ingredients. Thus, sourcing is the key in supply chain.
• working with local farms
• agricultural research
• Health and wellness also rely on data collection to allow healthcare providers provide better understanding of consumers' bodies
• In food and beverage, sustainability is again a keyword. Consumers shift to vegan or vegetarian.
• In-kitchen experience from smart

Sharing you this Amazfit Bip S from CES 2020 just because I like the picture posted. Source: Amazfit

Project Sunrise: Day 8

Heyyy,

Would like to start the post with good vibes.
I am proud of my self-control in Mar, seeing Q1 actual spend for hura-hura was only +0.1% compared to budget plan. Having Jan started with Surabaya trip, followed by Bali and Lampung in Feb, Mar was sure need to be as cheap as possible. I cut down my spending on skincare though my toner, face mask, and body scrub need to be restocked 😂 Also need to highlight I didn't spend any money in Lampung (only return flight), thanks to the one and only most sensitive highly empathetic person with 100% logical thinking 😅 I am thankful for many things in you.
*biggest cut to Mar essentials were transport and laundry. I am surprised it was not meals.

Another happy announcement, Liz Climo launched a new book last night and I've bought a copy. YAYY

Now, moving to the next section called Today's Regret hahaha.

• I regret not being fully aware of how important project management (and often product management) in current business context, knowing how fast products and services are being replaced/upgraded with new technology. Given my bsc is in electrical engineering, dissapointing. I am writing another post about CES 2020, fyi
• This happens a lot, but regret always come later you know. I am dissapointed at myself for not listening to a suggestion long long time ago, to learn how to drive, of course by him, the one and only most sensitive highly empathetic person with 100% logical thinking. And I need it now to tick one of many boxes of qualifications. Haaaaaaaa why didn't I listen. I am afraid though.

That's all.

TL;DR I miss him.

Project Sunrise: Day 7

Hi,

I will certainly miss being called nyet as a form of showing affection 💗 Haaa this makes me sad.

Also, I really hate it when my mind start projecting what I felt during the day into dreams at night. Writing helps. I feel bad for my SO for having to listen to my bad dreams. I hope he is doing okay.

Project Sunrise: Day 6

Hi,

I cried last night, tears of joy, learned that I finally have the capacity to act the way my past self wished I have done, sometime ago. I do make a progress and I am proud of it.

Anyway, I have picked a song to cover. Let me practice a bit then I'll show you 😐

Project Sunrise: Day 5

Hi,

Knowing I can't sing the way I used to is somehow devastating 😐
I guess I need to practice and pick a song to cover.

Well.

Project Sunrise: Day 4

Hey,

My mind is still clinging into something in the past and that is not good. Though I make some progress on the other thing I am working on, I still feel bad about myself. It is as if you know what you have to do but don't know how to do it. I know what I want but I don't know where to start. Do I need to seek guidance?

Thanks for listening.

Project Sunrise: Day 3

Hello,

I had the best dream last night. I feel thankful.

See you.

Project Sunrise: Day 2

Hi!

I think, like a lot. But I don't have much to say. I am thrilled but scared. That's probably the word for it. I am also thinking about other things after realizing that one of my closest friend will be having a baby soon. In this time of crisis, it sounds a lot scarier.

Update:
My boss' Instagram story got me crying. Am I worthy now that I am tired of being confused, broken, frustrated, sad, and decided to stop trying so hard?

Project Sunrise: Day 1

Heyho!

I am transitioning towards a new phase/experience in life and therefore will be taking notes of what I feel, one day = one dedicated post (if I am consistent enough 😛). Also considering that my SO is currently away --bless you for what you are doing, love-- I will need to "obsess" over something else, hence killing two birds with one stone.

I feel excited about things that may or may not come. Some friends reaching out yesterday really gave me validation that what I did these past 14 months matter and my purpose works. Here quoting for you:

Being fully present.

The antidote to a world full of distraction is more presence. Presence means being completely here. That means not obsessing about the past or future. Not focusing on other people's lives and what they are doing. But being fully present.

Talk to you tomorrow.