Actually doing it

Part 3/4

Ok now we already neutralize negative emotions, we are calmer, we know the end result we want, and ready to start a dialogue. It is time to actually doing it. There's no one way to have difficult conversation, but there's a model that we can use from part 3&4 of the course.

1. State your purpose
2. Present your observations
• State a fact and avoid assumption
• Don't sound judgemental or threatening
• Speak about specific and observable behavior. 
• What they are doing that they shouldn't be doing?
• What they aren't doing that they should be doing?
• Eliminate general comment like always and never
3. Listen and invite feedback
4. State your request
• Ask for what you want. Identify one behavior you want to see
5. Create accountability

At this point, I understand that difficult conversation can and will end in a good term if both parties understand and focus on what they really want. Now the important thing before going outside is to resolve inner conflict first. Focus on what you want instead of what you don't want.

Example from my personal story: I want to provide a good environment for a child to grow. I don't want to mess up someone's life because of my incompetence. When I focus on what I don't want, the conversation will go around not having children. Preventing the bad things to happen by not starting anything at all. But when I focus on what I want instead of what I don't want, the productive conversation will happen around what can I prepare from now to provide what is needed in the future, what help do I need, and so on. While the possibility to mess up is still there, the difficult conversation happen and the action plan and accountability is presented.

On to the next one is to find your why. I want to blablabla because I blablabla. The why is the bigger picture. Once you see the bigger picture, you can see the risk is worth taking. So in the same story as above, if I could discover my bigger picture of why I want a good environment for a child to grow, why is it important to me, then I can see if the effort being put and the risk that comes with it is worth taking.

The last part is visualize a positive outcome. Talk about what you want, the future, not talking about the past / the problem. For me when I reflect on this, it is not that I turn a blind eye about the past. It is more like, "What can we do to compensate that past/problem? Okay in the future I can do this and that, I need your help here and there. Will you be willing to help, will you be willing to do it together?"

This course has been very helpful.

Now I follow Marlene Chism words like a religion (might be for some time before it grew on me and I got tired like what happened with Jessica Dore & Maryam Hasnaa hahaha).

Before a difficult conversation

Part 2/4

So I am now in the second section of the course by Marlene Chism. Key takeaway from this part:

• Never initiate a conversation when you are overly emotional. Wait until you have some time to think about your desired end result.
• Talk face-to-face or at least by phone call.
• Seek understanding. Hear the other person's point of view before you make them the enemy.
• Stay focused. Keep your end result in mind. Resist temptation to argue about the past and non-relevant issues.
• Ask yourself this three questions:
• What is my narrative about the other person? Master your narrative. If we aren't aware of the stories we tell ourselves, we start to believe everything we think.
• What questions can I ask to break my bias and start a dialogue? Cultivate curiosity.
• Have I initiated a conversation with the source of the problem? Go straight to the source (and avoid gossip 😛).

To share you the news, I am adding another book to my when-will-I-read-these list thanks to black friday sale.

LOL.

What makes a conversation difficult?

Part 1/4

A conversation that seems uncomfortable to one person may seem straightforward to another. There are many variables that come into play.

1. The situation

Something is happening that you don't want to happen or something is not happening that you do want to happen.

2. The relationship

Define the relationship. How much do you care and what's the risk? When our conflict is with someone we care about, it can be really difficult. We worry about damaging the relationship.

3. The power structure

Is it a superior like a boss, a parent, a mentor, equal like a colleague or a peer, or your employee or mentee?

4. The emotions and the feelings

What emotions might surface for the other person or for you?

Saya belajar topik ini lewat LinkedIn Learning dengan harapan jadi people manager yang lebih baik di kantor. Sepuluh menit video berjalan, eh lho kok saya menangis haha. Cara Marlene Chism cerita bikin saya merinding. Kekurangan saya yang selalu muncul setiap berhadapan dengan konflik dan situasi asing lainnya adalah lambatnya saya menangkap social cues. Dari cerita Marlene saya langsung merasa sayalah yang suka ga ngeh apa-apa saja yang sebabkan situasi terasa lebih sulit dibandingkan situasi lainnya. Bahkan pihak yang berada di satu konflik yang sama bisa merasakan tekanan berbeda, bergantung pada empat aspek di atas tadi. Saya sadar skill ini nggak cuma penting untuk di kerjaan tapi juga untuk kehidupan pribadi saya.

All in all, saya mengerti betul bahwa insting atau common sense ga jalan bukanlah alasan untuk tidak paham karena komunikasi bisa dipelajari dan dilatih berulang kali. Di lain sisi, keluar dari pola komunikasi kita yang lama juga bukan hal yang mudah. Cara saya untuk membantu lawan bicara yang mungkin juga mengalami kendala seperti saya adalah dengan overcommunicate. Ayo belajar terus dan saling bantu. Semangat :)

What makes a conversation difficult? from Having Difficult Conversations by Marlene Chism

Biasa Saja

Suggestion Spotify di release radar itu lagu aneh-aneh. Iya sih saya suka Halsey, tapi dulu zaman New Americana. Iya saya suka Aurora, tapi nggak ingin dengar remixnya. Akhirnya daripada dengar release radar atau Discover Weekly yang isinya gak jelas, saya pilih dengarkan album yang itu-itu saja.

Kemarin City J dari Elephant Kind. Di awal album dia sampaikan, it's not necessary to beat the ordinary. Biasa wae ngono lho.

Hidup biasa saja ala saya itu seperti hari ini. Bangun tidur kalau sudah siap bangun alias jam 8 pagi pas banget jam masuk kantor hahaha. Langsung duduk di work space, kerja fokus important task, yang gak penting ya tunggu urgent. Gak musti perfecto. Makan pagi, siang, dan sore secukupnya. Kalau lagi pengen makan empat kali ya gapapa. Tadi bikin indomie goreng sebagai snack haha. Mandi sekali sehari di jam istirahat siang atau sepengennya. Jam 6 sudah pulang. Belajar sebentar 15 menitan. Ngobrol pendek sama teman-teman dekat memastikan mereka baik-baik aja dan memberi kabar bahwa saya juga baik-baik saja. Menolak diajak olahraga karena sedang tidak ingin. Dengerin lagu, scroll twitter, rebahan di sofa. Jam 9:30 sudah siap tidur pindah rebahan di kasur.

Kerjakan yang esensial buat support hidup dulu yaitu tidur, makan, dan bersosialisasi. Kerjakan ibadah wajib dan sunnah yang mudah dulu. Leyeh-leyeh di sisa waktunya. Pelan pelan aja. Hidup nggak mesti yang gimana-gimana banget kok.

Check Point

Sudah enam bulan sejak tulisan saya tentang closure. Ada beberapa hal yang saya kagumi tentang perubahan pada diri saya. Mungkin sebenarnya kecil sekali dibandingkan perjalanan yang perlu saya tempuh. Namun, saya yakin hal ini jadi salah satu katalis proses-proses selanjutnya. Segalanya terasa lebih ringan.

Peace be upon us.

Kelewat

Halo halo,

Mohon maaf ya tanggal 22 kemarin saya lupa tulis update. Jadi post ini tanggal publish-nya di-back date biar tetep cakep hahahaha.

Saya mulai kerja di tempat baru tanggal 15, jadi tanggal 22 itu tepat seminggu saya resmi bukan pengangguran. Terus kuliah juga sudah mulai ngerjain peer tiap minggu. Volunteer jadi panitia acara lari mulai ga kepegang. Ngasisten apalagi. Lari masih, tapi dikurangi karena cedera lutut. Challenge baca 12 buku di tahun 2020 gatau kaya apa kelanjutannya.

Banyak concern ya? Haha.

Awalnya adrenaline rush gitu tiap punya target baru. Semangaaat banget pengen ngejar. Hal yang berkali-kali saya alami dan masih belum ngerti cara menanganinya adalah cara nentuin pace. Kebiasaan ngebut di awal terus cape gitu lho.

Kalau dianalogikan ke lari nih. Dulu zaman lari dipaksa banget (apalagi yang di Malang napas sesak kaya apaan) kerasa bahwa kalo udah sampe ke titik "maksimal" tuh sulit buat recover. Misal nih normalnya HR lari aerobik 155, ini bisa sampe 178 gara-gara ngejar bocah-bocah ajaib itu ga kira-kira, abis itu mau jogging selelet apa juga tetep aja paling banter HR turun ke 165an.

Nah.

Kalo ini dicocoklogi ke burn out kerjaan, ya begitu juga. Sekalinya udah cape, fed up, ya udah ga bisa jadi normal lagi performancenya. Padahal kan kalo diatur biar "secukupnya" aja effortnya tuh mungkin bisa ya. Diatur sedemikian rupa agar masuk ke level engage, tapi ga sampe yang lieur lieur sorangan.

Pindah ke topik yang awal. Sekarang ini saya udah masuk level lieur lieur sorangan kebanyakan yang dipegang haha. Kurang dapat menentukan kapasitas diri nampaknya.

Btw di kehidupan personal pun gitu ga sih. Kaya kalo suka sama orang tuh takut kelewatan terus nanti lama-lama enek? Hahaha engga ya? Ini ketakutan saya seminggu ini. Lah curhat dia.

Apa siah post aku teh ga ada gunanya, post-nya Silmi mah cakep pilihan katanya wkwk.

Project Swordsman: Month 5 Final

I have come to the end of my job-seeking journey. A trip filled with self-questioning. Things haven't been easy, though I must admit that it was still way easier than last year 😅 Oh, about last year, I feel sorry for not involving anyone when I made the decision to take a break. To tell you the truth, I was not sure about what I want. Well, I still am.

It feels like I've grown so much in these past two years.

Since I made it out alive, would like to acknowledge that this wouldn't be possible without the love and support from those around me. I won't be able to get here without you ❤❤❤ (special kudos to my SO, thank you for staying through this hardship)

I made another post, closure, about admitting failure, receiving help, and getting back up.

And to close this post, let's say

YEAYY!!

Project Swordsman: Month 4 Reflection

Oh, so serious! What I learnt from this fourth month.

1. Choose a growth mindset. Recognize you're in control of your choices.

2. Always choose action over inaction. (I take this by heart. One real example is applying as teaching assistant for current SC Analytics run, surprisingly got accepted, then able to meet many amazing people behind the course.)

3. Define success internally, not externally. (Masih terngiang di telingaku ucapan ulang tahun dari SO.)

On the fun side, I got to spend most of my time doing things that best describe "yusrina's teenage days".

1. Comics/anime

2. Boygroup fangirl

3. TV series/shows

4. Sports

Tried to read novels but I couldn't endure five minutes without checking my phone hahaha either the book wasn't good enough or I just lost the skill 🙃 One after school activity that I haven't touched yet is singing/violin practice. Plan to try cover a song but need some more confidence boost haha, been too long not singing more than humming in the shower.

Anyway, it's great to do things I love and recognize that I am actually in control of my choices (I know we need to talk about privilege but you got my point right?). I wish I could keep this in mind and remember it whenever I feel lost.

Project Swordsman: Month 3 Got Better

Here we are in the end of the third month. I have done the eat-sleep-repeat cycle for three months and finally become accustomed to it. Came to love having free time and do nothing hahaha, not bad actually.

I guess I could say that this is the peak of my content level. By that I mean if I have a gauge filled with mixed emotions, today I feel 100% content, for where I am today. Sharing with you things I am thankful for, excited about, and looking forward to in three bullet points.

• I am thankful for friends and family who stay. (Though I might attract creepy-vibe type of friend, but I am thankful for you too)

Mentioning some names I get in touch with this last 30 days that I can remember of.

SO (his update perikanan and encouragement as my alternative energy source🙇); Fika (her baking & hand craft practice update and gardening aspiration shows what passion is); War pocari: Wida, Dhila, Andas (I won't survive without you, das); Last night's catch up: Novi, Astari, Bea, Zuhdi, Toni, Ducun; Weirdest pick up line: Diar, Sahil, Arfie, Dwiky, Diba, mas Hary; Lovely mentor: Pak Fajar, Pak Deden, Mas Wisnu, Kak Tifa; My apakabar monthly routine: Gun, Daryl, Gepe; Travel partner 2017-18: Yoan, Darin, Ami.

 

I realize that people come and go and that is fine. We know we always got each other, right?

I learn that love cross boundaries, tsaaaah

 

• I am excited about my learning progress and where it leads to.

I've been meaning to take MicroMasters Program in edx provided by MITx since 2017, but only got the courage, resources, and enough grit earlier this year. The program consists of 5 courses and 1 comprehensive exam expected to be completed in one year and five months. And I have completed the first course with excellent score. YAY! I didn't know that I have that much perseverance needed to stay on schedule and do what it takes. I am proud of myself (shameless me).

 

Now I am enrolled in the next course that will start in Sep 9th. Might need to dip into my emergency fund if still don't have job by then but let's see. I also consider getting certification in supply chain or project management but this will wait until there is enough resource to do so. Waiting is a good thing here so that I have time to check and be sure if I really want it.

Failing in an aptitude test in early June also do me good favor. I have been playing brain games since then and kind of understand what areas I need to improve: language and problem solving. It is the reason I am back into reading. Tons of books from Big Bad Wolf I haven't read yet haha.

 

• I am looking forward to take a leap of faith.

Just kidding. I am indeed taking a leap of faith by aiming to do a career transition in these challenging times. But I ain't doing another one in this year (I guess?). 

After sending 40 applications (it is exactly 40, I have checked my list), I finally got an interview earlier this month for a consultant role. The interview made me realize that sending applications without getting feedback makes me question my capabilities & experiences. That leads to me sending more applications aimlessly, then leads to more self-criticism. It is a never ending cycle that takes so much energy.

The interview is a wake-up call, that I actually know what I want and what I am capable of. I think that's why it was easy for me and the person who I was talking to to agree that the vacancy she had was not the right fit for me. After that day, I decide on an indicator for a job I should apply to. Quoting the famous Steve Jobs, "As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it." And by that I translate it into, "I should apply when even writing a cover letter excites me." You know that kind of excitement when you gotta spend a day with your loved ones, 

you are already happy even when you haven't met them yet .

I found that job and I am smiling when clicking the submit button. Feels like I have done something good for myself.

That's it. Talk to you next month.

Bonus: my desk setup for the last three months and what I see when I sit down. Working while watching BTS all day everyday. 

 

Project Swordsman: Month 2 Gone Mad

Awalnya mau diberi judul Gone Berserk, tapi kesannya saya transformasi jadi serigala atau beruang gila gitu haha jadi dibikin Gone Mad aja.

Saya degdegan 2 minggu lagi ujian Supply Chain Analytics. Harapannya sih dapet A. Sejauh ini masih terlihat dapat dicapai.

Mendesain hari-hari penuh pencapaian-pencapaian kecil cukup efektif untuk mencegah kegilaan. Karena SC Analytics sebentar lagi selesai, saya sedang menimbang-nimbang apakah akan lanjut ke data science yang lagi ngetren akhir-akhir ini atau pindah ke project management. Keduanya berkaitan erat sama profesi yang diinginkan sih tapi mungkin project management lebih general bisa ke supply chain bisa ke NGO.

Fika share kebunnya, Zuhdi share ikannya. Saya ingin pelihara ayam.

Suasana udah kaya suasana pensiun.

Project Akiyama: Week 6 Black Out Tuesday

Black lives matter

I know I'm in no position to say anything. Sending virtual hugs to the world.

Project Akiyama: Week 5 Closure

Say that I've been obsessing over a perfect destination, a journey I'm very, very proud of, for 5 years at least? I wanted it to be so perfect that I forgot sometimes things go south.

At first, it was very hard for me to admit that I came unprepared for the journey. I was on board not knowing how to handle challenging situations. Of course I could learn and adapt--and I did, but it was a lot of work and dedication. It cost me an arm and a leg. I felt alone and lost, caught in a storm. Only last year I realize that I actually got a partner, a kind one, that is willing to help me grow and learn. It is the most beautiful thing I ever have.

And it's warm, and real, and bright. And the world is somehow shifted.
(Ini lirik I See the Light wkwkwkkw)

With him (and mba Risa's annoying questions too) I learn how to question myself. What am I doing? What do I want? How do I feel about it? A set of questions with no right answer.

While trying to find my answer, I understand that it is important to admit (at least be honest with myself) that I need help, that I am in a challenging situation, that I am not okay, so that I can see things as they are. Only then will I know where my journey lead to.

Today I rewrite my wish. I don't need perfect. I am proud of how real I can be.

Terus lagunya pas Karolina dong huhuhuhuhuhuhuh sad.

I thank my SO for being warm, and real, and bright. Thank you 💕

Project Akiyama: Week 4 Career Roadmap

Mohon maaf saya ngomong tentang karir dan belajar melulu karena kesehariannya memang berkutat di situ. Kali ini saya sedang buat career roadmap dan development dashboard.

Jika kalian para pembaca adalah warga twitter seumuran saya dengan lingkungan pergaulan yang dekat, kemungkinan besar ketemu sama tweet populer ini ya:

Sejujurnya di awal perkariran saya ga pernah pikir ribet-ribet. Dari bayi sampai kuliah semua sudah ditentukan jalurnya bagaimana, pikir saya, nanti kerja apa juga akan dikasih tunjuk. Namun, ketika mulai enek dengan kuliah yang nggak ngerti "bentuk"-nya kaya apa dan ga kerasa pula yang saya kerjain ini hasilnya bagaimana, saya mulai berpikir untuk pilih jalur karir murtad dari teknik elektro, teknik komputer, dan sebangsanya. (Di kehidupan selanjutnya baru sadar bukan elektro yang bentuknya ga keliatan tapi saya yang ga nyampe pikirannya haha)

Kebetulan pola pikir saya kala semester 6 harus cari kerja praktik kurang lebih sama dengan yang ditweet mas-mas itu. Pertama saya kepo-kepo dulu mau market apa (untuk selanjutnya saya mau sebut market sebagai industri). Waktu itu kakak 2011 yang paling keren dan bisa ditanyain itu Kak Ovi di Accenture, Kak Ratih di Microsoft kebetulan keduanya kecimpung di IT services. Saya yang kekeuh hasil kerjanya harus keliatan ya nggak daftar (ga akan keterima juga lagian dengan resume macam saat itu wkwk wong IPK dapet 3 aja mesti nunggu transkrip semester 5 keluar). Ada profesi apa lagi sih di dunia ini?

Bingung dunia kerja itu sebenernya isinya apa lagi, saya gali-gali mulai dengan intip mimpi zaman SD dulu: kerja di TV. Sebenernya secara spesifik dulu cita-cita saya jadi semacam David Attenborough. Namun, menyadari nggak bisa tiba-tiba terkenal, mungkin bisa dimulai dari kerja di TV atau iklan aja dulu. Maka saya daftar ke NET yang saat itu sedang populer. Lupa waktu itu siapa ya yang info, kak Iffah gitu kalo ga salah. Pilihan kedua ke marketing Unilever sebagai yang produk dan iklannya di mana-mana, ceritanya mau arah ke cita-cita pas SMP jadi copy writer. Keduanya ga ada kabar. Eh, terus ketika nyoba marketing P&G berhasil lolos sampai interview user. Di kantor Senayan sana ketemu Dea yang lagi proses intern finance, yang kemudian ketemu lagi ketika sama-sama kerja di Unilever. Akhirnya P&G ga lanjut proses berikutnya sih. Waktu itu sedih banget tapi ya yaudah.

Tingkat tiga ditutup dengan dapet kerja praktik cuma modal swap nama dengan Demsy. Ajaib memang hidup. Perjalanan mengejar karir yang dimau belum berhenti tentu saja. Interview P&G itu menyisakan rasa penasaran sama industri barang consumables alias bahan habis pakai. Semester akhir kuliah nyoba P&G lagi tapi masih ditolak. Unilever, Nestle, Danone, GSK, semua sama. Akhirnya dapet first job masih dengan modal networking. Ajaib memang hidup. Industrinya agak belok sedikit consumer durable, tapi bisalah dibawa belok balik ke jalur aslinya. Daftarnya marketing tapi ujungnya supply chain karena minta nego gaji haha. Belok juga nih.

Udah nih settle pekerjaan pertama? Sebagai anak baru lulus agak degdegan dong... bener ga ya stepping stonenya? Di fase inilah baru dimulai bikin career roadmap, gara-gara diskusi dengan mentor pertama saya, Pak Fajar, yang kalau di blog ini saya panggil Capt. Ini linkedin learning bikin career roadmap kalo mau nonton. Saya kasih roadmap tiap fase-fase berpikir saya ya. Enak banget kalau lagi perlu buat keputusan maju atau diam. Cuma dulu ya ga dibikin tabel cuma urek-urek di buku wkwk. Btw ini pakai kaidah pindah tuh ga bisa breg langsung ya, satu-satu antara role dulu atau industri dulu.

Roadmap Initial. Mahasiswa tingkat akhir belum pernah kerja

Case1. Offer kerja pertama: industri meleset sedikit, company meleset, role meleset. Decision: diambil da butuh 😀😀 eh ternyata seru -> RoadmapAdj1

Case2. Ketemu senior inspiratif pivot dari Finance ke Supply Chain tanpa pindah perusahaan. Juga terjadi sesuatu di company yang bikin terekspos dengan struktur Finance -> RoadmapAdj2

Case3. Offer kerja kedua. Role sama, industri sama. Nggak mempermudah capai tujuan plus kalo pindah perlu adaptasi perusahaan baru, maka memilih stay di jalur

Case4. Offer kerja ketiga. Dapet nih role logistic sesuai yang direncanakan di Job #1, eh tapi diarahkan ke project 3 months, jadi teteup stay with current roadmap aja deh

Case5. Offer kerja keempat. Ini nih contoh subjectivitas ya. Udah cakep industrinya, cakep pula udah dua tahun kerja saatnya bergerak, tapi tetep ga diambil karena satu dan lain hal wkwk

Case6. Offer kerja kelima. Company idaman yuhuu 💖 Akhirnya pindah kerja within designated timeframe.

Case7. Terusik hatiku.
RoadmapAdj3.

fyi visual guide for Adventure Motorbike 

Project Akiyama: Week 3 Adulting

Ini minggu ketiga sejak effective date. Temanya adalah bosan. Bosan belajar. Sok iye banget sebenarnya ya, macam sudah ahli saja. Namun, mengerjakan hal yang itu-itu aja, di meja itu lagi, di depan laptop lagi, ya memang bosan juga. Akhirnya Minggu sore punya ide kirim-kirim makanan buat anak kosan. Dibilang kirim-kirim sebenarnya nggak sebanyak itu juga sih, cuma tiga tempat. Awalnya mau empat tapi yang satu lagi ditolak hahaha. Sedih tapi yasudah. Mau kirim ke SO juga tapi kok jauh ya takut udah ga bagus, jadi batal juga.

Gara-gara ide kirim-kirim tersebut akhirnya jadi chat sama Astari, lalu dia ide untuk bikin teleponan geng rumah belajar Tama alias kempar kempur (gatau kenapa nama grup WA-nya gitu). Terjadilah teleponan berdurasi sekitar 3 jam sama mereka-mereka itu, sambil main tebak gambar juga plus ketawa ketawa ga jelas. Kangen banget banget banget. Hampir fullteam cuma Tanto aja yang ga muncul, ia baru muncul di grup pada Senin paginya. Abis kelar telepon ini jadi kangen telepon SO juga, tapi dia kerja. Lagipula saya orang yang sabar (kayanya). Semoga situasi segera kondusif ya.

Harusnya disensor ya latarnya Fadel tapi mager

Serunya ngobrol dengan teman lama zaman remaja krisis adalah saya jadi sadar bukan cuma saya yang merasakan perubahan-perubahan, adaptasi-adaptasi. Dari dulu bikin laporan praktikum bareng di lantai karpet sambil tiduran makan sari gandum atau ngusir tikus di bawah tangga, sampai sekarang misah-misah kota berbagai mata pencaharian membangun keluarga-keluarga baru. Ya memang iya mana mungkin saya doang yang mengalami perubahan, cuma kaya ditepok gitu lho dibikin "heh bangun". Ada yang udah ganti kota, ada yang udah ganti kerjaan, ada yang udah ganti pacar, ada yang udah ganti status, ada yang udah mau lahiran 2 minggu lagi. Bener-bener beda jalan.

Hari ini sembari nulis dan mata berkaca-kaca saya jadi sadar juga bahwa semua orang punya porsinya masing-masing dalam hidup. Ga perlu maksa, lakukan aja sebaik yang saya bisa. Kalau lelah ya istirahat. Kalau butuh bantuan bilang. Merangkum krisis jatuh-bangun-jatuh-bangun dari zaman tingkat dua dulu sampai sekarang, saya percaya yang bikin saya tetap ada sekarang ini karena saya mampu bangkit lagi dan saya nggak pernah sendirian. Banyak orang baik di sekitar yang akhirnya buat saya sadar bahwa saya berlaku indifferent itu nggak menolong siapapun termasuk diri saya sendiri. Masih belajar sih karena ya masa 20 tahun ga punya perasaan dan selalu transaksional bisa dalam 6 tahun berikutnya tiba-tiba jadi baik hati wkwk. Saya bersyukur punya kesempatan kenal dengan orang-orang baik sehingga tahu mana yang perlu ditinggal. Senang sekali teman-teman (dan SO) tercintaku mau bertumbuh bersama saya 💗

Sekian. Saya mau belajar buat tutor nanti malam.

Btw, gara-gara saya sinisin beberapa waktu lalu, sales periplus sekarang kalau WA minta izin dulu hahahaha.

42.5
Kangen bakmi bangka

Project Akiyama: Week 2 Liar Game

Ternyata saya bosan. Jadilah kali ini muncul project kedua, Akiyama. Awalnya ingin saya beri nama Full Moon, tapi kan mau dibuat weekly kok ga nyambung namanya haha. Maka digunakanlah nama yang lagi sering ada di kepala alias Akiyama tokoh utama manga Liar Game.

Berbeda dengan Sunrise yang dibuat harian selain karena sepi kebanyakan waktu juga rutinitas belum jelas maunya apa, Akiyama akan muncul di akhir minggu dan cerita highlight aja. Bosen kan Sunrise dengar saya cerita olahraga mulu selama sebulan? Hahaha

Ini adalah akhir minggu kedua dihitung sejak effective date 22 April. Saking banyaknya waktu, saya yang awalnya bingung mau mengalihkan energi cinta mati dan gila kerja ini kemana ternyata bisa juga akhirnya menemukan banyak hal untuk dijadikan obsesi cadangan haha.

Pertama, cari kerja. Yang ini jelas ya, saya udah pernah bikin progress report di Day 30. Masih ingin idealis nurut sama alasan awal resign, cari-cari fokus hanya di sektor energi dan farmasi. Sebenernya ini awalnya iri aja karena SO bahagia betul nampaknya bekerja di public sector. Eh terus Wida pindah dari BI ke UNAIDS, makin tergodalah. Padahal maunya pakai kriteria multinasional dan public company. Jadilah sempit sekali ruang gerak ini. Mari dipantau saja kapan akan menyerah haha. Masalah cari tempat yang baik untuk kesehatan mental belum diulik karena sudah terbukti saya jagonya bertahan dan sok kuat wkwkwkwk.

Kedua, olahraga. Cerita saya beli yoga mat sudah ya? Nah, ini dalam rangka fokus core dan mau bikin perut kotak-kotak hahahahaha ga deng, dulu yang awalnya 2 kali seminggu sekarang jadi dua hari sekali. Kerasa sih lebih mampu melakukan hal-hal aneh. Kemarin ada gerakan explosive push up. Kebayang deh kalo ga pake mat itu telapak tangan retak kali wkwkw lebay. Bentar lagi belajar boxing nih kayanya haha.

Ketiga, belajar. Ini nih peer banget karena menjadi relevan dengan pasaran sekarang itu ya susah. Mau apa dulu yang dimulai nggak tahu. Baru sadar chart yang dishare kak Agas dulu dan kata-kata Pak Deden dulu itu bener. Pool job market-nya planner sempit, dibagikan mulut ke mulut, dan talentnya sedikit. Di mana-mana iklan yang seliweran lowongan customer service dan logistic. Mau nggak mau ya memantaskan diri jadi yang bisa segala wkwk plus networking sedikit-sedikit. Kemarenan selesai logistic foundation di LinkedIn learning. Sekarang lagi mulai SC Analytics di MITx nya edx. Gatau deh telaten apa engga. Sebenernya planner semua lagi gerak ke machine learning. Kalo mau ya belajar R kaya Yoga tapi mager buanget. Dia bilang ada lowongan di Shopee, planner tapi ngoding wkwkwkwk wow sekali.

Keempat, closure. Ini proyek saya dari 2018 yang belum juga selesai. Sebagai orang yang keras kepala dan punya imej sebagai orang jujur dan straight forward, agak sulit bagi saya untuk mengerjakan proyek dalam tim dengan tingkat otonomi tiap individu rendah. Apa namanya? Sentralisasi ya? Pengennya ngelawan mulu. Tapi ya sulit juga mau dibubarin soalnya belum selesai. Mei tahun lalu berhasil buat progress sedikit, dibantu SO. Bukan dibantu sih lebih tepat disebut diudag-udag kalo bahasa sunda. Kalau ngomongin dia tuh suka bingung gimana cara berterimakasihnya💕. Nah saking kebanyakan waktu, minggu ini mulai kepikiran buat lanjut lagi. Tapi ya kepikiran doang ga dikerjain. Bikin to do list aja dulu. Nunggu arahan dari yang di atas karena ya itu tadi otonomi rendah wkwkwk. Heran dimana-mana kaya gini kerjaan w.

Panjang banget yaampun. Nanti kalo tiba-tiba saya obsesi masak atau berkebun saya kasih tahu ya haha. Btw ini first take Adore You ngakak banget tiap believe it. Biasanya denger radio doang sama lagu di kantin kantor, jadi latian dulu bersama Harry Styles. Dia effortless beauty ya suka deh.

Yusrina Nur Dini · Recording 40

43.3
I can't lie, can I?

Project Sunrise: Day 30

Hi there,

I feel fine today, I guess.
I'd like to close this project with progress update. So many reds 😅

Thank you for reading this 30 days blabbering content. I miss talking to my SO but this time I think it is best to spend some time alone. We will survive, I believe.

Project Sunrise: Day 29

Hi,

Today I feel calm it is weird. I read Silmi's blog first thing in the morning. It is the best thing I had this month, I think. She is a remarkable writer.

I guess I need to be strong too.

Project Sunrise: Day 28

Hi,

I don't feel good today. My head is a wild space and the mind is eager to explore everything. I promise myself not to talk with anyone. Can't take promises lightly as it will make me feel worse.

Project Sunrise: Day 27

Heyyy,

I am too immersed in my financial planning I end up forget to come here hahahaha sorry.
Retirement fund balance from current company (along with final settlement) has been shared -> new information means plan adjustment. I need to make a new plan and start juggling. Will start reallocating once semua cair. (what?)

This hasn't considered halal-haram ya haha. Abisan mau buka deposito di bank syariah mesti ke bank kan repot.

Talking with Kak Tifa about housing in BSD, about why she prefer live in BSD compared to Bekasi and Cibubur, (and of course Jakarta is not an option considering the price). I'd like to live in BSD but most likely cannot afford to buy a house there as a single-income household haha. Owning vs renting is a topic that is still an abstract for me. Pros and cons?

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, Zuh!

I'd like to repeat the message you gave me as it is beautifully crafted and true.

Every time you reach that crossroad where you could choose to do a different thing, you will notice that there is a fear there, telling you to take the same route you're used to. Give yourself a little time. Ask him questions, then listen.

I like you as simple and human as you are.