Coping

The Story

I sorta proud of myself whenever I do one step out of my comfort zone. Yesterday went out with a person I barely knew, a girlfriend of my sophomore crush. Wew. Turned out she is the sweetest girl alive. Kind and patient. Now I approve hahahahahhaha who needs my approval btw.

Another thing, yesterday was the first time I ate sushi in my whole 23 years+7 months life. Besides that it is an eating lifestyle I wasn't born into, you can say that my courage to test out new taste of food is below the standard courage anybody has. Now I can rest assured whenever someone point a sushi restaurant as a dinner option because my comfort zone has expanded woohoo. It tastes great I want more haha.

I discover a new thing about myself, that I let me be a different me when I am with a person I am not familiar with, and this draws opportunity to be a better version of me. In last night case, the one that closest to being called friend was only Luqman, exist at the right side of my chair saying "Loh, lo bukannya sukanya makan yang ga ada rasanya gitu, itu kok nyemilin kecap asin?" "I don't care, I am not me tonight." I answered in silent.

End of story.

The Main Part

As an epilogue, I write this one piece as a form of notice to you reader, that my day writings are a lot more positive and fluid compared to the night version. (You can read the night version in latest post before this one.) Despite the same initial idea, those written at night has a helpless tone and more subtle approach. And that means the post failed to serve its purpose, to share meaning. I kinda don't want that that version of me visible to someone I am not close to :p

This is not the first time the idea of "choosing which sides to show to public" arise. I had kept a wordpress page back then, Nov 2016 to Jan 2018, realizing that I need not to write a negative vibe post while also need some sort of coping mechanism. I shut it down earlier this year due to lack of emotional intelligence wkwkwkw now I regret the decision. After several months without it and more pressure coming in, I began to miss it hahaha. There comes another decision to create new wordpress page :) You will only see the bright version of me here hopefully. Getting the vibe of kak Nyoman Anjani being accepted in MIT grows certain motivation to learn harder (not aiming for MIT tho) I'll share some of my notes here. Hope so haha.

Gosh, long post.